Self-Help & Motivational

My life has had a series of “long pauses”. Very long ones. For one reason or another, my life has tended to “live me” instead of “me living it”. Why? Well… why does anyone deflect? Get thrown off course? Detoured or despondent? The answers are easy and common. Circumstances. Life events. Failures. Losses. Deferred Dreams. You name it, life can present an overwhelming buffet of situations, setbacks, challenges, choices, and consequences that can incite a sudden pause on what may have been your road to living the life of your dreams.

Do you remember your dreams? The ones that excited you or made you feel unstoppable? The ones that gave you butterflies and haunted your thoughts, or the pages of countless journals? The ones that you saw so clearly… but sadly, never manifested. Un-birthed dreams and purposes, can unfortunately go with us to the grave… never seeing the light of day, as we mindlessly go day after day giving ourselves the incessant permission to delay what we really want to do; what God has whispered in our ears gently and consistently to go forth and do – but because of past mistakes; too much time having drifted by; a lack of resources; the opinion of people; or fear of change – we remain on pause. We read countless self help books; attend well launched and charged seminars that excite us in the moment; listen to soul-stirring sermons and attend spirit-filled worship services that encourage us in that hour of attendance to say to ourselves… “Okay, this is my time… I hear you Lord, I’m really going to do it! My faith is in you!” But then, when we leave those doors, we enter the same world that presented the same problems as before, and most likely, re-enter the longest pause of our lives – the one that separates us from purpose and passion. Consequently, after being on pause for so long we get accustomed to it, give in to it, and accept the life that others have charted out for us. We grudgingly ascribe to the world-proclaimed calling that others have created for us and declared we ought to be. We can despairingly get caught up in accepting our lot as our destiny… never invoking the God-given power that is ours, to change it. So, the magic question is how do we find it, and how do we change it? But, the bigger question is this: Even when we finally know better, why are we still unsuccessful in doing better? Here are what I found to be four answers to these questions that will shed light on how to take back your life with intention, and how to finally do it with less hesitation – moving away from the habit of pressing pause, to learning the freedom of pressing play.

You Are Still Unclear On Exactly Who You Are

Dr. Myles Munroe once said, “people would treat you differently if they knew who you really were.” True indeed. Walking in our purpose manifests our power. The problem is, the world doesn’t know who we really are because, for the most part, neither do we.

It takes confidence and courage to live who you really are, which are qualities that many of us either lack or employ in the wrong things for the wrong reasons. In doing so, we live a life not our own, and never really learn who we are – and sadly, the world is never introduced to that person either, causing it then to miss out on the greatest gift that God intended to give it… which is YOU. If Beyonce wasn’t Beyonce, the world would treat her differently. If Steph Curry wasn’t Steph Curry, the world would not admire him as they do now. If Oprah wasn’t Oprah… well, I think you get it! You wouldn’t get a car, you wouldn’t get a car, and you definitely wouldn’t get a car! We wouldn’t care as much what her favorite things were. We wouldn’t run and get the books that she endorses when she puts them on the list of her book club. So what makes them different? Look not at their celebrity… but at their beginning. Beyonce had a great foundation in family and support that cultivated and propelled her talent. Oprah’s story is very different – spotted with poverty, hardship and abuse. Steph Curry is a legacy NBA ball player… but his talent and greatness has now even exceeded the accomplishments of his father, Dell Curry. The difference is that these individuals, like many others, not only found out who they were – but had the audacity to adopt the confidence and courage to BE who they were. Even when it was hard; when they weren’t liked; or when others wanted them to do something else.

When you don’t know who you really are – no matter what dream you see, it will remain a thought until you actually believe that the person you see in the dream is someone you still need to meet. A higher version of you that already exists in another plane, that is waiting patiently on you to believe what you see. How do we find who we are? Simply ask God to show you. “Lord, show me who I AM. Show me the me that I don’t see.” Pray this prayer incessantly. Write down what you see and feel after you speak those words. Say it to yourself. I AM an author. I AM a serial entrepreneur. I AM a global consultant. I AM a world renowned motivational speaker. I AM… I AM… I AM. Whatever follows these words creates the version of you that you see, and that will be. I AM, is the name of God, the name He gave Himself when Moses asked him His name. Why would He name Himself I AM in all capital letters? Simple. Because He IS. Do you hear the confidence and knowing in that statement? The Word says all those who come to God must believe that He Is…”. And who is God? He IS the Spirit of Truth. The Creator of all things. He exists in all things. Moves in all things. Since we are in the likeness of God, with that same power of BEING, we create who we are when we say who we are. Lord, who do you say that I AM? When He tells you, believe Him, and bless yourself by repeating that truth – the truth of who you really are. It is a game changer, and the first step from moving past your pause.

You Are Still Afraid to Disrupt Your Life

We’ve all been there. Wanting to change… but involved eyeball deep in far too much to actually make the change. It would require a gut-wrenching detachment from our comfort zone and current way of life. It would disappoint many people who are relying on us to stay right where they need us to be to serve their needs and desires. It would look too different from what you’ve done for a lifetime, and many won’t believe this “new you” that certainly exists, but since they’ve never seen that person, they don’t believe the “true you” to be anything more than a figment of your imagination.

People thought the same thing about Noah. People laughed at Noah; thought he was crazy. The thing that God wanted him to do brought huge disruption to his normal way of life. It was contrary to the history and culture of his environment. Why build an ark when the country has never seen rain? How foolish is that? The Bible says that the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:25). It’s not easy to adopt the mind of Christ in your quest to shake up your life and exchange it for your new one. Imagine the toll this took on Noah’s family, his marriage, and his livelihood. He had to stop what he was doing for a living to support his family in order to do what God commanded him to do… which at first made no sense at all and came at a great cost and great faith, but it ultimately saved the lives of his entire family. Imagine the burden of constant public opinion. In spite of what everyone thinks, and in spite of how crazy it seems in the beginning, what if moving forward in that thing that seems like the craziest move you’ve ever done, not only changes your life, but saves the lives of you and your family, as well as the lives of so many others that you have no knowledge of – whose lives would never have been impacted so greatly, if you simply believed what everyone else thought, or refused to believe in yourself?

The process of living your life on purpose, in the beginning, requires major disruption – and this is the reason why most of us do not see it through. We eventually cave into the reasons why “that life” seems too far out of reach; too contrary to what most people in your life need and/or want from you; too starkly different from the person you’ve grown accustomed to being because it was easier than being your true self. So we give up. Fear is your arch enemy, and comfort is your “Delilah”. Fear has sworn to defeat you, and comfort has vowed to seduce you. Both work together to keep you hidden in plain sight, never reaching your full potential… and living the illusion of a full life, with having never lived life at all.

The phrase “fear not” is quoted 365 times in the Bible. That is no coincidence. Our calendar year is 365 days. For every day of the year, God has also made clear commands in His Word for you NOT to fear, and with great reason. Fear alone will separate you from living your life on purpose. Instead, you will be a sheep led to the slaughter of massacred dreams and wasted talent. Too afraid to live your life and too willing to succumb to the life this world has created for you instead of creating the life you want and are meant to live. Read Joshua 1:1-9 and see how many times he reminded Joshua not to fear as he stepped into Moses’ shoes to lead the descendants of Israel into the promised land where they would face great contenders and obstacles. Challenges that invoked the fear of their ancestors and kept them in the wilderness were the same challenges that were met and defeated when Joshua believed God that He was indeed more powerful than them, and had no reason to fear them. Fear did not hold him or the children of Israel back from the promised land. So they went and conquered a land that their ancestors dreamed of but never knew, because they were “paused” for 40 years by their fear.

You are a creator. That was the first assignment God gave to man. He told Adam to name the animals… and whatever he called them, that’s what their names would be (Genesis 2:19-20) Again, that same pattern… what’s in a name? What has the world called you? What do you call yourself? A failure? An addict? Broke? Sick? Tired? Old? Behind? Frustrated? Whatever you think in your heart is what you shall be (Proverbs 23:7). And fear creates the debilitating thoughts that make living life on purpose less possible, and living a life free from the challenge and discomfort of disruption more appealing. The moment you find the courage to disrupt your life and everything in it, is the moment the burden of your old life will be lifted. It will be scary. It will hurt. It will make you uncomfortable. It will make you unpopular. It will place you at the topic of every misguided conversation and whisper. Yes… all of these things will be true. But if you are willing to face them and to stretch yourself beyond the temporary sting of disruption, you will find that person that has existed in your dreams for far too long, and finally make a long awaited introduction to the you that you asked God to reveal.

Your Attention Is Still On the Surface, When the Problem is Still Underneath

One of first rules of manifesting an entirely new life after a long pause requires decluttering. This is the thing none of us want to do. We focus mainly on convincing the outside world that we are who we say we are… when the internal work remains undone. We fool the world for a time… but eventually, our hidden, tucked away secrets find us out. And we show up looking inconsistent, like frauds, or the failures that the world is counting on us to be so that it can once again have us right where it wants us… under it’s control.

So the first step is to clear your space. Your home. Look around you. Your environment is a direct result of your thoughts. Especially after you’ve been paused, things go neglected. We collect things. We hold on to unnecessary things. We avoid things. Task yourself to clear your entire space room by room. Your home is the place most acquainted with you. It is also where things unseen can linger and attach to our lives and our spirit. Clearing your physical space is necessary to clear your mental space. Depression, addiction, anxiety, procrastination, despondence, lack of motivation, and depleted energy are all affected by our immediate physical environments. You can read a million self help books and not escape depression. You can take a million bottle of pills and not escape anxiety. You can go a million times cold turkey to escape an addiction, and yet find yourself right back in it’s bosom. All because the way that you approach these goals was out of order.

Begin with your space. Clear it. Let go of clothes, what-nots, dresser and counter clutter, messy drawers, stuffed closets, old memories that bring nothing but pain, but you have become addicted to keeping it close,… clear it all out. Do a tech cleaning. Old emails, text messages, virtual files from 2002 that are obsolete and need to be purged. Let it all go! These things have “dead” energy, and pass that energy on to us daily. We dress to the nines when we leave the house, and come back to a house that is not our “home”. Home is where the heart is. But our hearts which were created for love and life, are mired with darkness, anger, and bitterness when surrounded by dead things in our home that breed nothing but dead energy. It may be cleaned with bleach and pine sol on the surface, but it still harbors things we can’t escape. Memories that are embedded in old mattresses; walls that speak the same old replays through the same coat of paint that witnessed what we want to forget. Begin with your home… and the rest will come. I promise. The de-clutter of your space will make the de-clutter of your mind possible. And once your mind is clear, you can be a lot more clear on the things God speaks to you and wants to show you. True change only begins with a renewed mind (Romans 12:2). New life begins from the inside out… not from the outside in.

You Still Don’t Believe That Today is the Day

My brother and I have this saying… “Today is the day”. We say this to each other often, knowing what we need to change… but for some reason, reluctantly acting on that change… Today! Why? Because although we keep saying it, we still don’t believe it. Thinking the situation will change or correct itself. Thinking we are not “there yet” to make such a bold move. Thinking that we still have to wait a little longer to “see” and “make sure”, just in case we act too soon, and make the wrong decision. Meanwhile, still stuck in miserable circumstances and life plots that are not true to who we are or what we say that we want or want to accomplish in life. We say it and laugh… “today is the day”. But we aren’t serious. So today, becomes tomorrow… and the next day… and the next month… and the next year… and so forth and so on.

Have you ever felt that way? Like you know what you need to do… but you’re waiting for the right moment? The right time? For people to change? For you to change? The truth is… it will never be the right time. Now is the time. The situation will never change… unless you change. You will never change… unless you make the radical move, today, right where you are. I get it. It’s scary. It’s bold. It’s crazy. You don’t know where it would lead. You are afraid of making the wrong choice. But, here’s a common secret: the wrong choice seems like the wrong choice because it is the choice no one expects you to make – even you.

Jesus was radical. It was the wrong choice to go preach a Gospel contrary to the tradition of the law of the Jewish church. It was the wrong choice to seemingly go against the tradition of His culture and upbringing to heal, forgive, love, and include sinners in the same fold with so-called saints. It was the wrong choice to befriend a traitor, one who would betray Him and spear head His illegal arrest, trial, conviction, and crucifixion. In the world’s eyes, these were wrong choices. It disrupted their way of life. It disrupted his life and the lives of his family, friends and disciples. But oh what a beautifully powerful disruption it was! Of all the celebrities that were or have ever been, Jesus remains the most renowned and impactful celebrity this world has ever seen, even still after over 2000 years after his death. He lived his life with great purpose, that initially looked like wrong, illogical choices. Logically, according to the court of public opinion, tradition, and culture of His day, these were all wrong choices. But God is not governed by human logic. You are still on pause because you see your life through the eyes of logic and reason, rather than faith and divine purpose.

My brother and I laugh about today being the day… but, honestly, the joke is on us as long as today is NOT the day. We are then stagnated by indecisiveness, which leads to instability and lack of purposeful living (James 1:8). Sadly, the same is true for those of us still stuck in this frame of mind. Every day that this isn’t the day, is just another day you have decided to pause your life. Another day that has created space and time between the person you are currently disguised as, and the person you were really created to be.

Every thing I preach, teach, or advise is always first a declaration and testament to myself. A truth that either I’ve realized, implemented, or have yet to act upon. Every thing I’ve written in this post is a “Come to Jesus” letter to me first. I’m right there with you. Like Paul, I am not saying that I have already arrived to the achievement of these things. I have not. But, my penning of these things throughout the night and into the morning is a step toward releasing the pause button of my own life, and pressing play. One more move toward the new me and away from the old me. What I AM saying is that I AM pressing forward toward the mark of who I was created to be, intentionally (Philippians 3:13-14). And that I am worth that fight, to be clear on who I AM; to disrupt whatever I have to in order to manifest the truth of who I AM; to clear out the things, obligations, and people in my life that keep me on pause; and, to do one of the challenging things today that I am so accustomed to putting off for tomorrow – and to do this day, by day, until it’s done.

For the sake of the you that you are dying to meet, the person in your mind that whenever they take center stage, this world would never be the same – I hope and pray that you aspire to unleash that gift of a human being to all of God’s Creation. It is a mark that only the true you can leave, and one that has a purpose with YOU in mind. Until the fruition of all these things, Peace, Love, and Blessings to YOU on the journey of a lifetime!